So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
