i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
