This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
