Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
