I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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