Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
