Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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