just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Be still, my beating vagina.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
