did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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