ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
