garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
