he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
