I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I could fuck to npr.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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