Umm I'm too high to move.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
