Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
