Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize