Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
