Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
accomplished twins. life is a go
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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