Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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