There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
