Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
