Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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