I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
