what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
