My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize