Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
