"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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