I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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