woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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