you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize