omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
