The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
