you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
