Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
