do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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