ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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