you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
