This house was built for laser tag.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Bring me that man meat
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
