Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
