Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
