There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
