i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
