The brown eye won't let me do that either.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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