Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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