So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
