not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize