I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
