Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
