Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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