Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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