hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
