No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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