8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
