i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
