You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
