Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I am mentally ready for anal.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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