it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
sex in a hospital.. check
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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