I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
