big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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