I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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