haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
