Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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