Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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