i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
