I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
