If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
