Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
